I know it’s been wayyyy too long since I’ve written. I made a brief attempt a couple of months back to rekindle my love affair with writing and sharing so much of my experiences, but was unable to get that “spark” back. I think it’s because I was going through SO MUCH that I just couldn’t find my place and space of THERE.
I shared a status on my Facebook page about the importance of allowing only those who are INVESTORS into your spirit to be those who are able to collect returns and dividends. Those who make constant withdrawals without deposits should be slapped with penalties and their privileges eventually revoked altogether. Such persons are not deserving of the benefits of ROI when they have yet to make any in the first place, in fact such people are liable to leave you completely overdrawn and with insufficient funds. Why should the next person who is responsible be made to clear up the insufficient funds left by the previous irresponsible party? Um, my suggestion is to CLOSE THAT ACCOUNT so that the person no longer has any access and you start anew.
I am coming out from UNDER… I’ve been buried with WORK and MORE WORK, RELATIONSHIP ISSUES of EVERY KIND (platonic friendships, more than platonic, work partnerships, etc.), not to mention the MINISTRY, the PARENTS, the CHILDREN, the BUDGET, the HEALTH CARE ISSUE, the FUTURE, the THEN, the NOW, the STILL TO BE….. I believe that these things cross my mind at least once each and every day.
In any case, I have a friend who is a publicist named AB and when I tell you sometimes God will send you an “angel”…. he definitely was one for me at the time. All I know is we were texting and a little while later he called me to “check up” on me. He said that he felt the need to reach out and make sure I was OK. He couldn’t have been more perfect with his timing. Not only was I at a point of pure emotional exhaustion, but I was having a “moment”. By the time I finished with him he not only made me feel better, but the cry I had on the phone with him was therapeutic. He was loving, kind, patient, compassionate and so very giving with his words and his time. I realized in the brief moments he was pouring back into my spirit, that he was clearing up someone else’s debt. The previous account holder who kept making withdrawals from me without the consideration or forethought of depositing. In fact, the selfishness of the other account holder had begun to weigh heavily on my soul. I realize that sometimes THANK YOU and I’M SORRY are the only deposits needed, and when you can’t even get that from a willing soul, then access needs to be denied, and privileges revoked. God used AB to BRING ME BACK into the POSITIVE. I was operating on negative and insufficient for a minute… and truth be told I’m still not sure HOW, but for the grace and mercy of GOD.
Either way, I am blessed because even when I’m in a place and space of “learning a lesson”, my work doesn’t suffer. I manage to contain the vibrations within myself without anyone ever having a clue until which time I decide to share. My life has had the learning curve of unbelievability to say the least, but as I emerge each and every time from each and every lesson with [a new] balance and interest, I find that I am always exactly WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. How I get there is based on my choices and my choices change when I finally learn the lesson and correct the behavior. I’ve learned yet another lesson, and am living and standing CORRECTED!!!!