I have been going through a WHIRLWIND of EVERY KIND and TYPE these past few weeks. I’m like wait a minute… I thought that was from my last season. But then something in me clicked and I realized that I am still in my 7th year of my 6th cycle of life, I’m 42 years old, and since GODs number of completion is 7 I guess I’m leaving this cycle, or rather completing this cycle with a bang once and for all.
As I have grown beyond measure (and exponentially so these more recent months), I have adopted a different approach to how I operate, how I do things, how I see things, and how I receive things. I am embarking upon new endeavors and while doors are opening and closing for me at alarming rates and levels, I am finding that the process of being still and really searching your spirit and the desires of GOD for your life and His Glory are paramount.
On January 6, 2012 I was met with a very painful and heartfelt event that caused me to SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING I WAS WORKING ON. Of course I am sure it is not by accident I was at the HEIGHT of so many projects.. my film project, tv stuff, etc. My FB popularity was experiencing its largest peak at alarming numbers as my personal page, fan page, group membership and other impressions exceeded 40,000 people. It’s amazing how things happen and how EVERYTHING suddenly became TOO MUCH. I didn’t shut down to run or hide, but to retreat to a place of refuge. The only place I would or could find any peace. I needed to find myself out of the lion’s den and in the secret place of the MOST HIGH under the shadow of the ALMIGHTY. That is where I placed myself and where I still rest. As the LORD continues to perfect me and order my footsteps, I am taking notes on where I’ve made mistakes, where I’ve moved ahead of him and purpose, and where I could have exercised better wisdom and judgment as far as my actions and re-actions to variables and certain stimuli.
While I have found myself in the midst and path of yet another HUGE BUSINESS VENTURE and OPPORTUNITY, I know that the time will come when I will no longer be intimidated or retreated by the SUCCESS which awaits me, nor backed away from it by the adversary’s tactics nor whom those closest to me he would use to hurt my feelings, break my heart, crush my spirit, rob me of my confidence, and steal my joy. As I grow a thicker layer of skin, as I am strong enough to deal with the man in the mirror, I am also finding myself secure and strengthened in the KNOWINGS of the LORD and what He shares with me. I am learning not to be swayed by the naysayers and to not allow doubt nor fear to enter into my mind, heart, or spirit with what the LORD SPEAKS and is commanding me to do.
I have chosen this life and committed to its service. I have to live with my decision, but more than that I have to LOVE through it. I have to love myself through my failures, and love others through their lack of loyalty. In the end, love covers a multitude of faults and sins and there are plenty of both from all of us to go around.
While I have yet to gain the posture of joy back I once had before the ‘event’ of January 6th I know that healing is on its way and my arms are outstretched wide to receive.