It is absolutely amazing that while the Christmas Season is one that is supposed to be extremely celebratory, it has become one that is EXTREMELY COMMERCIALIZED and completely thrown off for those who have experienced the loss of close loved ones either within the year, around the holidays, or at any time really. I have also witnessed this inherent sadness, if you will, among some of my sisters who are not in relationships or at least where they want to be in their lives. It’s as if this time of year becomes this measuring standard of WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE or WHERE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN BY NOW… hence probably the reason why this whole New Year’s Resolution craze has taken the shape and form that it has.
I know that for me, myself, and I it’s a very different kind of thing. As a person with these gifts, talents, and skills I live my regrets all year around (when I was a person living with regrets), and now when I experience times and/or moments of sadness I experience those all year around too and not exclusively during the holidays. The holidays have a very different trigger for me. The holidays trigger joy, gratefulness, and cheer. Even though I get a little sad and cry for those who have passed, I still become embodied with a gratefulness and this heartfelt desire to just bring smiles to the faces of others through the spreading of good cheer and yes giving gifts. I just love to give gifts. I think it’s because for me I don’t give EMPTY gifts, but those with SENTIMENTS, VALUE, and deep rooted meaning. To me that is the reason in the first place. One should never give anything just because, but rather BECAUSE… if you know what I mean.
I feel as I am walking this road that the sadness that I used to walk with more often, does not take up space within as before. I know that while I am very much a human being with sensitive feelings and extremely heightened emotions, that the dwelling time for low moments is becoming less and less. Part of the reason for that is because whenever I find myself in that place, I quickly revert my thinking towards all of the things GOD has done for me, and all of the painful situations He has brought me through, and all of the life changing circumstances that He allowed me to survive…including death several times over. I always try to transform my thoughts to the beautiful love my family embodies and the beauty of the hearts of my children. My life is so very rich and fulfilled.
And when things really get rough and I’ve found myself sad to the point of tears, I do what I know I am supposed to do… I CRY THEM… I cry them hard, I cry them loud, and I cry them heavy. And the funny thing is with those types of tears, you cry them in sessions. They start and stop and just start without reason and then stop. In fact, these are those “CRY ME A RIVER” tears that usually put me in the deepest and most restful sleep.
I happen to be one of those people who believes that people should be allowed to SAFELY express and discuss EVERYTHING they are feeling and that there is nothing wrong, shameful, or embarrassing about it. In fact it is the HOLDING IN and HOLDING ON that allows the vibration of the negativity of emotions and circumstances live longer than it should.
That is why communication is so important. When we find ourselves unable to cope with a situation, I’m going to venture to say it’s not only because we are not willing to COP to what we are feeling, but we are also not COMMUNICATING as we should. In this life, especially around this time of year, people are in either FULL THROTTLE ready to take the bull by the horns mode, or lingering on REGRET STREET as a means of self torture. In either case, I say that when you find yourself on REGRET STREET, the best thing to do is cry yourself a river so that you can be carried away by those tears down the street, off the block, around the corner, to a new road and a new journey.